I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
as a side note pls kill me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
