I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
