I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
