Small penises have feelings too.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
