was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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