I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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