Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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