Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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