you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is wine microwaveable?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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