Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
