But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
