we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
