I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
