I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
