You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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