idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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