i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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