dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just pee around me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
