I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
