bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
