hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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