am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
