I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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