People with herpes should wear stickers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
