Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
