Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't deserve a penis
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
