omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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