I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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