so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
