I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
