Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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