omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
