when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
