are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
