We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
