OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
