is wine microwaveable?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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