I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You ruined the universe
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
