Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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