I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize