I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
