we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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