I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
