I'm gonna have a badass scar
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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