Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
