forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
