Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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