We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
