If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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