that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize