This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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