what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
