She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just found puke in my bra..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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