Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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