the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
