My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you win again, gameday.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
