I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
