I'm lost and stupid without you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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