I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
