he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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