are you still at the devil's house?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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